Another Broken Promise…….

What A Disappointment!

Well, let’s just say I’m underwhelmed. This place sprang up all over town, I’ve heard good things, and I don’t find it that hard to imagine cooking great things with eggs. I had this vision of an egg based New Age Scarfeteria on the order of Chipotle, Zoe’s or Burger Fi, but in a full service breakfast niche. You know, a place that redefines whatever we thought of as egg cuisine with a hipster, hormone free, organic, free range sensibility. I’m thinking eggs at a whole new, hip level. I’m thinking this place is going to take concepts like IHOP, Waffle House and Denny’s to a whole new level of cool; a breakfast themed restaurant for a new generation possessing over the top expectations. As I’ve discussed before, that’s the trouble with expectations. New and over the top is not what I found at Another Broken Egg, 4075 Old Milton Pkwy, Alpharetta,
(770) 837-3440, http://www.anotherbrokenegg.com/.

Teller’s Omelet. It looked the best…….

What I did find was just another breakfast joint. At best. This place could be the restaurant at a Howard Johnson’s. It’s bland, blasé and boring. I’ve seen more imagination at a Cracker Barrel. One thing this place will never be is a Thumb’s Up with its giant heaps, hashes and massive omelets. Or even an Original Pancake House with its incredible apple pancake, overloaded omelets and $17 breakfasts. It’s just another place to go for a weekend breakfast and wait with the sheeple for food that you can make better at home. OK, DHR, enough talk about what it isn’t, let’s take a look at what it is.

Oracle’s Omelet. Blah….

We had a foursome today with your host, the Overstuffed Officer, The Oracle of Buckhead, Teller and El Presidente. The place was practically empty when we arrived, and as the hostess seated us she said something that struck me as just plain weird. “And this will be your menu”. Really? It will? Well, OK. Our server arrived before we had a chance to look at what would be our menus, greeted us professionally, took our drink order and asked the question that is now de rigueur at every eatery, that also makes no sense to me, “would you like to start with one of our fantastic appetizers like our famous baked brie?” How the hell could we possibly know what we want? We haven’t even looked at the menu yet. I’m sorry, but I don’t get it. This may be a good time for me to go off on a tangent, but it’s imminently more interesting than the food. I don’t like Another Broken Egg, but two things there impressed me. Our server was very professional and efficient, but that should be a given. In the real world it isn’t, so kudos to ABE, but what impressed me most was that she was extremely well trained. Her language was always very precise. “Will potatoes and English muffin be perfect?” “Is everything fantastic today?” Planting subliminal superlatives works, and it creates positive thoughts. Too bad the food is hopeless. The Oracle disagrees completely. He is put off by the artifice and intentional manipulation, and referred to it as a contrived performance; a phony, cheerful recitation of superlatives. Frankly, he has become such a curmudgeon that his list of dislikes grows daily. Well, at least the waitress wasn’t old. Old people really seem to bother The Oracle. It’s a good thing there are no mirrors in his house. The other thing I liked was the background music. I only actually recognized one song, but it was a deep cut by Robert Earl Keen. What’s up with that? (Get well soon, Keenan)

El Presidente’s Sandwich. Yawn…..

Now for the bad news, the food. You know my philosophy, DHR. If we go to a restaurant called “egg”, I have eggs on my first visit. I was tempted by the benedicts, but ended up trying the “supreme omelet”, $10.99! with onions, sausage, bacon, mushrooms and cheese. I chose their specialties, “seasoned country potatoes” and English muffin as sides. Everything was horrible. Oh, and it was served on a skillet shaped plate. Wow. The omelet was overcooked and I couldn’t actually taste a single ingredient. Waffle House is twice as good for half the price. The “seasoned country potatoes” were frozen cubes of institutional crap, and there was no seasoning as far as I could tell. Forget about it.  The Folly of trying to Fool the Fat one with Faux potatoes. For shame! Even Chef Sysco would be ashamed. The English muffin was a joke. It was tiny, tasteless, and it was knife cut! The purpose on an English muffin is to be fork split and toasted so that the butter fills all the nooks and crannies. I can make much better food at home and so can anyone,  so why does this place exist. Of course, considering the bad taste of the masses, it will probably become the most popular restaurant on the planet. The Oracle and Teller also had omelets and said they were fine. El Presidente had a turkey sandwich of some sort that he said was pretty good. At this point, I don’t care what everyone else thinks. As this is my blog, I am overruling them with the AFatBanker  Veto. I will never eat at Another Broken Egg again, it sucks.

How does Another Broken Egg total out on the AFatBanker Balance Sheet? Not well.

ASSETS: Form over substance, fabulous service, the music.

LIABILITIES: Everything else.

Another Broken Egg, You Need This!

NET WORTH: This loser doesn’t rate a single money bag, but rather The Polished Turd Award for absolutely awful food. The most over hyped and under performing eatery we’ve visited in months. DL is lucky he missed it!     -afb

The Fit One Strikes!

Something Old, Something New

Did you ever see one of those cooking shows in which chefs have to create masterpieces from random ingredients? I’ve always though t I’d be good at that, but not to that extreme. I don’t care to try fixing something great from cornflakes, arborio rice and a box of cough drops. I do, however, always make meals form whatever we have laying around. I utilize leftovers, stuff from the freezer and whatever we have from the store that’s fresh. And I must say, I come up with some good stuff, such as Friday’s dinner.

A Salad of Odds and Ends

We had some fresh shrimp, which I marinated, threaded on rosemary stem skewers and cooked on a grill pan. There was some yellow rice left over from Taco Thursday, as well as some leftover pico de gallo made from tomato, onion, jalapeno, honey crisp apple and corn. Very good. We had a salad of the pico with a dollop of guac, a little artichoke salad from the fridge, all served over shredded romaine. To start, a bowl of the gazpacho form last week and presto, a gourmet, healthy meal.    -AFitB

Today’s Shrimp, Yesterday’s Rice. Nice…..

Cedar Plank Citrus Salmon

Cedar Plank Citrus Salmon!

How does one counter the great taste, yet possible ill effects of a killer (fabulous) cheeseburger? Why with FitBanker’s grilled cedar plank salmon with fresh herbs from AFatFarmer’s garden. Also from the garden, fresh squash that was on the vine an hour ago, cooked with fresh herbs, shallots and orange bell pepper. Good stuff, just don’t get carried away!   -AFitB

 

 

 

 

Rhea’s 2 – Dive-burger Extraordinaire!

R.I.P. Mickey D! You’re de-throned BK! Its Wendy’s ending! We’re kicking Krystal to the Kurb! You guys are tired and obsolete. Sometime between the fifties, when you were new and good, and the 70’s, when you, and every other producer of anything in the good old US of A turned your products into crap, the death knell for you began sounding. The Nineties and the new millennium ushered in a return to quality and excellence in manufacturing, and allowed iconic fast food brands to build unit heavy empires. Unfortunately, you failed to improve your product, continued to raise prices, and failed to see the revolution that upstart competitors were about to unleash. These days, for the same money you charge for your mass produced corporate burger products, I can get a high quality, unique burger masterpiece. There’s been an explosion of fast service burger (and every other food) eateries that serve well conceived, locally sourced, high quality and most of all, supremely tasty hamburgers. The same trend is as true in cupcakes as it is in scotch whiskey. But don’t worry iconic fast food brands, you don’t need to go away altogether, you just need to go away far. Overseas that is. There is a much larger market for your corporate calorie factories in other countries than there ever was here. Good luck and good riddance.

There’s a new burger joint coming to Alpha called Tower Burger. I don’t know a thing about it, but while I was trying to find out I came across a reference to Rhea’s 2, 11490 Alpharetta Hwy Roswell, (770) 569-4944, and was intrigued. Rhea’s doesn’t even have a website. I guess the big boys are beating Rhea’s on the net, but certainly not in the kitchen. I put Rhea’s on the calendar because we’re always looking for unique and good new chow palaces. This place is anything but new. It has a well worn feel that is both homey and nostalgic. Nothing fancy, that’s for damn sure, but it does have a certain familiar ambiance. Dear Leader and I visited last week, and we were both impressed with the unique burgers Rhea’s serves up.

Rhea’s with Chili! – The Beefy One Applauds.

The atmosphere is a mix of energetic and chaotic, but the place seems to run with a casual efficiency that ensures that everything gets done. When we arrived we were unsure whether we should order at the register, sit at the counter or take a table. The gentleman running the register motioned us to a table and then came and took our order. Rhea’s basic burger is a freshly griddled cheeseburger served on grilled Texas toast with the normal toppings. It’s not a patty melt because the burger is cooked and then assembled, not cooked as a melt. Of course, there is a double patty option, and needless to say, DL and I so opted. I peeked at the grill on the way in and saw that the meat was red and fresh, portioned but not pattied, and looked really lean as hamburger goes. The meat hits the grill and is skillfully smashed into a flavorful patty with a crisp brown crust. Very tasty. DL chose his with the regular works and an order of fries. When I looked at the grill I saw that Rhea’s serves crinkle cut fries, which I never like. Instead, I chose the double burger with chili and onions, and a hot dog the same way. They serve a very good sandwich chili here. It’s all meat, with no beans, and really no sauce to speak of. One of my many pet peeves is getting soupy, bean filled chili on a sandwich. Sandwich chili should be made as a topping so it doesn’t make a sloppy mess of a sandwich. The Varsity and Nu-Way (Macon) have certainly mastered this art. So has Rhea’s. DL and I agree that the burger was different and delicious, and that we’ll definitely come back. The hot dog was of the highest quality and served on a grilled bun. Very good. Oh and by the way, Rhea’s is priced about the same as a fast food joint. Once again, goodbye corporate factory food, hello inexpensive, one off, unique real food.

The Fans Demand the Hands!

Let’s take a look at the AFatbanker Balance Sheet, shall we?

ASSETS: Great burger, unique approach, inexpensive, first rate sandwich chili.

LIABILITIES: Crinkle cut fries, warm dining room.

NET WORTH: There are hamburgers on every corner in America. Rhea’s has managed to be unique and fun. I award four money bags and declare Rhea’s far superior to any fast food burger for about the same price.

BTW, I also declare that I will never use the word “unctuous” in any of my posts. It’s become almost as common as the words “pork belly” and “kale” in food writing and I’ve had enough Not enough pork belly, just enough talk about it.     -afb

FitBanker Runs hot and Cold!

Curried Chicken & Rice Soup

I love soup. I think that I have mentioned this fact before, and you may notice that I have soup as a first course or Asian soups as a meal often. There is no seasonality to my soup obsession; I like it winter and summer. Imagine my delight when in putting together the healthy dinner calendar I came across several healthy soup recipes. I planned on making the Indian inspired soup Sunday, and the Goddess requested gazpacho, so I ended up making both. Curried chicken and rice soup has the distinct and slightly spicy flavor of madras curry, as well as carrots, fresh mint and dill, and shredded chicken. It is thickened with well cooked rice that is pureed and mixed back into the remaining soup mixture. Excellent, and different too.

Yo, Gazpacho.

The gazpacho needs no recipe as I’ve made it many times, but this batch came out unusually good. I used fresh tomatoes, canned tomatoes, a can of Rotel, cucumber, red onion, 1 jalapeno, red bell pepper and a jar of V-8. I like it soupy. It’s seasoned with salt, pepper, EVOO, balsamic, lime juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, fresh basil, mint and a touch of cumin. All the herbs are, of course, from the garden of the FatFarmer. Once again, light and healthy can be very tasty. We don’t want to get too carried away, so healthy foods must be eaten only in moderation to create the perfect balance. After all, God needs the devil; The Beatles need The Stones, and gazpacho needs bacon double cheeseburgers to ensure that world continues spinning properly on its axis.   -AFitB

NY Pizza Heads South at Mama’s

Meatball Appetizer. Molto Bene.

Thanks to my friend Sweetie from Clayton, we found a new pizza place. This one is not of the highbrow, wood fired oven variety, but rather a good old fashioned NY style joint. Sweetie joined me for lunch last week while she was in town, and told me that she always goes to Mama’s Pizza, 5950 Northpoint Pkwy Alpharetta, (770) 751-6001 http://mamaspizzaalpharetta.com/ when she’s in the area to grab a pie to go for her husband, Barbie’s Beau. Barbie’s Beau is actually from NY and knows a good pizza when he eats one. Mama’s looks like a typical store front suburban pizzeria, but the pizza is better than most. DL, The Oracle and I went on Wednesday.

Isn’t That Special!

I’ll say right off, they have a great lunch special – two big, fresh slices with one topping each and a drink for $5.75. That’s a great deal, and they feature full table service too. I can safely say one thing about the server who waited on us Wednesday. It was not her first day on the job. The entire staff operated like they’ve been working together for years. They have a smooth, efficient, seamless flow that resembles a well choreographed ballet. Our waitress knew every nuance of the menu, interacted effortlessly with her environment, and watching her filled me with confidence. When our order came out, it was perfectly accurate. BTW, each item was served as soon as it came out of the oven so that it would be at its peak of flavor, and for me, temperature.

The Papou Resides at the Top of Salad Hell

The Oracle, still confined to self-imposed salad hell, tried the Medium Papou’s Salad, composed of Iceberg lettuce, tomato, cucumber, ham, mozzarella cheese, feta cheese, pepperoncini, black olives and “homemade” Greek dressing. I know that Papou in Greek means grandfather, and Medium in Greek must mean freakin’ huge, cause that was a sizable salad. Oracle said that it was good; it certainly appeared to have plentiful toppings, but as we all know, it’s hard to get excited about a salad. The most exciting part was the price, $6.95. They also have a Large for $11.95. Large in Geek must mean gargantuan.

Chicken Parm Sandwich. Disappointing.

DL, for whatever reason, decided to have a sandwich. The chicken parmigiana special with chips and a drink is $8.15. That’s a great deal. Unfortunately, it was not a great sandwich. You would think that at a pizza joint, a chicken parm sandwich would be a sound selection. You would think. But it doesn’t always work out that way. The bread, cheese and sauce were fine; it was the chicken that ruined the sandwich. It was pounded very thin. You know that the result will be hard and dry, because it’s damn near impossible to get a pounded filet to be tender and juicy. Further, when it’s all breading like that, it’s almost impossible to actually taste the chicken. The end result is a fried sandwich of no distinction. Sausage or meatball parm would probably have been a much better choice. Oh well, we will be back, and perhaps DL will try the pizza next time.

There Are Two Pizza Toppings. I Like Them Both!

Your host, DHR, is fortunate to have an ordering philosophy that ensures a good choice. If the place says pizza in the name, pizza is what I have on the first visit. If they hang their hat on it, I’ll give it a try. I had the two slice special, but I had to add an extra topping to each because I always need extra cheese. Especially if its slices, as slice pizza just never seems to have an acceptable amount. I can see why Sweetie and Barbie’s Beau like the pizza here. The crust was light, thin, not too cooked (also rare for slices), and had a very nice chewiness that I associate with a high gluten flour. While the sheeple misguidedly run from gluten, I say great, more for me. I’m a contrarian by nature, and when you zig, I zag. The pie was lightly sauced, chewy, well cheesed (after doubling up) and had very high quality toppings. Of all the world’s toppings, there are only two that are acceptable on a NY style pizza, and I like both of them. Just not together. I had one slice with sausage and one with pepperoni. The pepperoni was spicy and cooked just so. The slice had a rich coating of amber oil that exuded from the heated pepperoni, and the sausage (see photo) was sliced from fresh links, delicious. No sausage pellets here. Real sausage doesn’t even come in pellets. In the battle of the Mama and the Papa (John’s), Mama’s sausage kicks Papa John’s ass. Mama kicks Papa’s ass in the pizza department too. I will never understand how Papa John, Dominos & Pizza Hut stay in business. Do you people not know that any local joint is better? Overall, Mama’s pizza was fresh, very tasty, plentiful, and quite authentic. Good slice!

Check Out That Sausage! Sweet! Check That Oil Sir?

So how does Mama’s Pizza total to the bottom line of the AFatBanker balance sheet? Let’s take a look:
ASSETS: Great service, excellent pizza slices, great value.
LIABILITIES: Chicken parm sandwich was sub-par. OK, it was bad.
NET WORTH: There are probably thousands of independent pizza joints around the country that are quite good. There are over 25,000 units of the big three alone! All of their stores combined don’t rate even a

Take That Big 3!

single money bag, but rather only the Polished Turd Award. Mama’s gets four money bags. Good NY pizza is alive in Alpharetta, and we’ll see you again soon!            -afb

Midway Meal House – A Throwback to a Different Place & Time

The Fat One Goes Country….

This place is so far out that it must be midway between anywhere and nowhere. That being said, there was a ton of traffic out there, and Midway Meal House, 5150 Atlanta Highway, Alpharetta, (770) 442-3738, www.midwaymealhouse.com/ had a good crowd. I’ve said many times that this is my town and I’ll go wherever I want. I never feel out of place, even in the obscurity of a Buford Highway dive when I’m the only Anglo in the place. Further, I’ve never had anything but positive experiences with everybody I’ve interacted with. It’s odd, but I felt a little out of place when we walked into the MMH. Just a little. Kind of like I’d stepped back into the past, into my childhood where sometimes you were truly reminded that after everything, you’re still an outsider. A Yankee carpetbagger. I’ve lived

Zeke’s Widest Smile….

almost my entire life in the South, and consider myself to be one of its proud sons. But sometimes, like today, I am reminded that there is the South I live in, and then there’s another South entirely, and I think that’s the one we may have visited. It’s a shame Zeke from Tucker is no longer dining with us. He’d be right at home here, and his mere presence would confer legitimacy upon the rest of us (especially me). They actually had a portrait of Zeke’s great, great  uncle,

Col. Beauregard Q. “Dandy” Tucker

Confederate Colonel Beauregard Q. “Dandy” Tucker hanging on the wall. “Uncle Dandy” as he was known, was a lifelong bachelor with a passion for killing Yankees, designing military uniforms and crocheting and collecting lace doilies which he always referred to as “Dandy’s Doilies”. He lived until long after the war, but was killed in a tragic display of fancy horsemanship – riding sidesaddle while wearing only a Scottish kilt. Where was I? Oh, not to say that the staff and patrons at Midway were anything other than friendly, courteous and professional. They absolutely were. Yet I still felt a twinge, a slight raising of the hackles, as I sat down knowing that I am neither a local nor a regular. There’s a certain Southern “club” that I’m not a member of, and as much as I love country cookin’, I guess I never will be. But shockingly, I digress. I think I was supposed to be talking about good ole Southern food, and I haven’t quite gotten to that yet.

Fried Chicken. Yes.

Midway Meal House is truly a throwback. It’s located in an old farm house that’s been reworked into a restaurant space. White clapboard with green trim, its interior is paneled in white bead board from wall to ceiling. The tables and chairs are non-descript. The service is friendly and fast, and the food is damn good. By Atlanta standards, it’s damn cheap too. A server immediately took our drink order and brought over a basket of rolls (soft, warm, yeasty and slightly sweet), butter (maybe?) and corn bread muffins (hard, not too grainy, and very good) while we studied the menu. Basically, you can get a meat – country fried steak, fried chicken, meatloaf, or the daily special, today, roasted pork with gravy, and two veggies for $7.75. They also have a menu of specialties plus two veggies and I was intrigued by the country ham steak and the 10 oz. hamburger steak. Next time, and there will be one. We ordered and started to chat and then BAM, our food was served. It was hot, plentiful and tasty, albeit light on the seasoning. Is it just me (I like everything highly seasoned) or do these type places always keep the seasoning simple to nonexistent? Everything needed salt and pepper, and I longed for hot sauce, but didn’t really eat anything that I traditionally put it on.

The Oracle Escapes Salad Hell!

I opted for the meatloaf with turnip greens and squash casserole. It was a nice portion of loaf, but it may not have been the best choice. It lacked seasoning and was a little dry. That being said, it still tasted delicious with a little ketchup. You can bet I’ve never met a meatloaf I didn’t like. The greens were fantastic and clearly homemade, and I also loved the squash casserole. The Oracle of Buckhead also had the loaf with squash and fried okra. He too found it to be excellent, filling and a good value. He didn’t say, but I think he may well have felt a little displaced too. After all, he is a Buckhead Blue Blood. Good thing he

Colonel Oracle Looks The Part

grew that Colonel Sanders goatee to cultivate the image of a distinguished Southern gentleman, it allowed him to blend in better. The okra looked like it may have been frozen, but it was hot and tasty anyway. Dear Leader, ever the adventurer, had the daily special of roasted pork with gravy. When it hit the table I knew I’d made a mistake. It looked awesome! Huge thin slices of lean pork covered in a light, creamy gravy. DL was unhappy with the gravy, but he made it clear that he is very, very picky about his gravy. My guess would be that the gravy was a basic flour and stock recipe, or was made form a mix. It looked perfect to me, but I wasn’t eating it and we have all developed a deep respect for DL’s opinion – the man knows his food. He chose crowder peas and squash for sides and thoroughly enjoyed both. You may have caught the theme DHR, we all had squash casserole. Excellent, it had a combination of textures and a nice flavor.

Today’s Special, My Heart Be Still!

Country Fried Steak, Jake!

It’s always a little tricky rating a place like this on the AFatBanker Balance Sheet. The cuisine does not easily lend itself to a high net worth due to its inherent simplicity. Still, I’ll take a good country fried steak over a bad filet mignon any day. Let’s take a look at the bottom line:

ASSETS: Extensive menu, well executed dishes, generous portions, great service, nostalgia.

LIABILITIES: Nostalgia, under-seasoned food, I ate too much; I felt mildly out of place, it was too warm inside.

NET WORTH: For good ole Southern food, this is among the best I’ve had, and I’ve had a lot. Four money bags, a high honor indeed. I would also like to award the respected, the unrivaled, the highly relished “Crown Jules” for overall

The “Crown Jules” – For Country Comfort Excellence!

“Country Comfort”. Way to go MMH, we will see you again! If that “again” is six years from now (it won’t be), I’ll bet the place won’t have changed a bit. That too, is comforting. -afb

The Three Most Overrated Artists. Ever.

“I Have NO Talent, but I’m a Temporary Icon!”

I forgot how this came up. I guess somebody said something and it just sparked something in my mind, although there’s very little kindling left up there these days anyway. I look at modern super stars and wonder how they ever got where they are with so little talent and originality. But then I look to the past and remember. The phenomenon is nothing new. Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat its mistakes. I wonder why Bieber is a superstar. I don’t need to look very far to understand. When I look back, I can identify three iconic “artists” who have endured for decades, become legends, and IMO are totally overrated.

Cool?

Frank Sinatra. What the hell is it about this guy? I never liked his middle of the road, popish, 50’s musical white noise. I mean really, the guy has a one octave voice range, and is so monotone that his singing is more likened to talking. Also, my parents loved him, which is a good reason for me to rebel by disliking him. I’ll give him a chance when my Dad, The

Their Best!

Silver Fox, listens to Led Zeppelin III repeatedly from start to finish until he sees its greatness. That won’t happen of course, mainly since he’s no longer with us, but even if he were the chances would be miniscule. But Sinatra is everywhere, still. I hear his music and see his image all over the modern world. Well, unlike artists these, days, at least I can tell that his singing is music. What do I like about Frankie? The SNL skits featuring Joe Piscopo (hilarious) and Phil Hartman (hysterical). I could laugh myself senseless watching those bits on Youtube, so Frank was definitely good for something.

Hartman – I Miss Him.

 

Piscopo, Classic.

 

 

 

 

 

Tina Turner. Are you kidding me? A biopic? Sold out arena shows? Great legs? I don’t get any of it. I can’t even name a single song she’s ever done except Proud Mary, and I never really cared for her version. The best part is Ike singing “rolling on the river” in his deep baritone just before the big timing change. She probably sped it up then because she was running away from him. How she got to be larger than life is beyond me.

Shakespeare. That guy, and the other “great” authors that compose every high school’s list of required reading, are the reason that kids don’t read. If you read only their “classics”, it won’t be shocking that you don’t care for books. Although Shakespeare now sits on the lofty throne of high art, I’m pretty sure that in his day he was the equivalent of a TV writer and was popular among the dumb masses. That is to say the illiterate, common

The Bard of Brooklyn

and perpetually inebriated populace. He told some good stories, but the language is cumbersome and trying to understand it is much too tedious. I have this vision in which four hundred years from now, scholars will unearth videos of “All in the Family” and herald Norman Lear as the greatest playwright of all time. By then, the English language will have devolved into a mix of text-speak, Ebonics, hipster slang and Spanese (a mixture of Spanish and Chinese). The average American’s (dare I say “If we still exist as a country”?) vocabulary will be limited to only 200 words, so Lear’s writing will be as indecipherable then as William’s is now. But not to worry, there will be a legion of scholars to transcribe and interpret the work of the great “Bard of Brooklyn”. The Cliff’s Notes will be peppered with footnotes explaining what “stifle yourself”, “meathead” and “It ain’t German to the conversation” mean, and of course, will put everything into historical context. They will explain that in the late 20^th century, Polish sons in law were known for political liberalism, unemployment and consuming mass quantities of food. There will be endless scholarly and literary debate over whether the works of Lear are tragedy or comedy, but the great minds will never agree. They will, however, agree that Norman “King” Lear was superior to the lord of Strattford upon Avon, and someone like me will then proclaim him “overrated”.

The Northside Goddess

The Northside Goddess will likely say I’m being negative again, but I disagree. I don’t really dislike any of the three, I just fail to see them as cultural icons. If you have a list, or a critique of mine, I’m ready to listen to, and then disregard your opinion.         –afb

FitBanker Returns!

Tonight’s starter – a salad of freshly grilled mixed peppers, kalamata olives, sundried tomatoes and a very light dressing of extra virgin Greek olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Small portion and it’s good stuff! It’s served with a dollop of Poppy’s eggplant caviar. Need recipes? Let me know. The fit one wins tonight…..-afb

 

2nd Bite – Campania. Bellisima!

Capricciosa for DL

Every time we dine at Campania, 800 North Main

2nd Bite

Street, Alpharetta, 770-559-4674, http://www.campaniaga.com/, I’m impressed all over again. Perfect crust, top shelf ingredients and a great overall Neapolitan pizza – perfect. The crust is blackened and crispy, yet still retains a strong element of chew. I promise you I could eat that thing with no toppings at all! The Oracle chose the Napoletano panino, a sandwich stuffed with Calabrese salami, provolone, chili pepper, and extra-virgin olive.

Napoletano Panino. The Oracle Chooses Wisely….

If I ever opt out of pizza (not likely), I would definitely have that. First, they make the bread on the spot. It resembles a pita, but is actually a puffed up pizza dough cut into a pocket bread. Fantastic. Then they stuff it really full and serve it hot from the oven on an artfully presented plate. The photo doesn’t do the sandwich justice as The Oracle obviously dropped out of the Robert Mapplethorpe Academy of food photography. I think they both have the type of strong artistic temperament that makes it impossible to collaborate. Ask him for a sandwich picture and he focuses on his obsession, salad. Amateur.

Salsiccia. Meaty!

Campania is a hidden gem in Alpharetta that is every bit the peer of the more heralded in town Neapolitan pizza joints you’ve heard so much about. If you’ve not been, you need to go.   Take it from me, the AFB!                                          -afb

Form Over Substance = Less Sustenance

Half Roast Beef Sandwich – Ordinary at Best….

When Corner Bakery came to Atlanta I still lived in Midtown. Every Saturday I stopped by after lunch to purchase incredible fresh bread loaves at two for the price of one. They have some of the best bread anywhere, but I’d only been once or twice for coffee and a sandwich or sweet treat. We had lunch there yesterday, and I don’t see myself running back. 10920 Haynes Bridge Rd. Suite 200 Alpharetta, 678.317.0224, http://www.cornerbakerycafe.com/locations/ga/alpharetta/north-point. I had the half sandwich and chili and was not thrilled with quantity, quality or value. The bread was good, but the roast beef tasted like a refrigerator, and was in no way rare. The cheese and concept were good, but the sum total was just blah. The chili was great, it was even hot (temperature), and they had abundant Tabasco sauce. The Oracle of Buckhead had a chicken Caesar, which he pronounced good, but short on chicken and long on croutons, which he chose not to eat. They looked like the best croutons I’ve ever seen, but bread should not be a major component of salad. Well, I guess I like it better than lettuce, but seriously. Dear Leader had a Santa Fe Ranch salad and did not appear in any way excited. We all debated grabbing a dessert on the way out, but declined. We left still hungry and in no hurry to return. Maybe for coffee and cake instead. Like we ever do that. Right.

The Chili is Quite Good!

Although I’ve not really devoted a full review to this, I still feel comfortable examining the bottom line, so let’s take a look at the AFatBanker balance sheet, shall we?

ASSETS: Good bread, interesting selection, variety.

LIABILITIES: Poor execution, low quality roast beef, smaller portions combined with bigger prices.

NET WORTH: I’m just not inclined to go back, as much as I think this place  should be better. Two money bags – CB has failed to meet expectations and doesn’t deliver the goods.     –afb

00 (Double Zero) Napoletana

00 (Double Zero) Napoletana, www.doublezeroatl.com/, 5825 Roswell Rd, Atlanta, (404) 991-3666.The Goddess and I joined some friends there last week. It was good. It was inexpensive, but I was driving kids that night so I refrained from any bar related items. Damn. What a difference laying off the drinks can make in the tally of your check! Not to mention, The Goddess and I shared a pizza and only one appetizer, so it could be said that we were two, but only ordered dinner for one. I didn’t get any photos, so I lifted a few off of the internet for your enjoyment. Firstly, I like the pizza, but I don’t think these guys have anything on the unheralded but excellent Campana tucked in a strip center in Alpharetta. Campana is probably even a little better as pizza goes. But don’t get me wrong, the pizza was good. At least I thought so. Not so much for the Goddess. We had the margarita, a classic combination of tomato, basil and fresh mozzarella. For a Neapolitan pie, one must operate under the concept that less is more. You don’t want the pie slopped up with a bunch of unnecessary crap or too much of even a good thing. A pool of cheese here, a basil leaf there, keep it lightly sauced and let the flavor and texture of the dough remain distinct. Neapolitan pizza is an exercise in restraint that relies on top quality ingredients, in modest proportions that speak for themselves. The Goddess somehow interpreted that into “I want all the cheesy pieces”. She also felt that pizza should be more generously topped, a notion I hold dear, but only in relation to NY style pies.

Nice Pie. Scissors?

We also shared the grilled octopus. She thought it was fantastic, and I thought that it was only very, very good. In truth, the octopus itself, no doubt slowly precooked somehow and then lovingly and expertly grilled, was spectacular. It was in no way rubbery, had a delightful crunch and a clean, fresh taste of the sea. It was the two sauces that less than thrilled me. One was a white garlicky paste, the other a sweetened tomato sauce. Eh….

We’re Not at Domino’s Anymore!

We’ll go back for the fun, bustling atmosphere and convenient location. Next time, I’ll order for myself, because the wood fired oven roasted pork as a sharing appetizer sounds like it’d make a great dinner for just me!  -afb

From The Kitchen of Your New Friend, AFitBanker……..

 

Tender & Flavorful. Notice the Small Plate!

The Bottomless Pit soon leaves for a month of summer fun, and The Northside Goddess and I are contemplating the life, albeit temporary, of empty nesters. One of the things we both agree on is that we’ll be freed from the endless monotony of dinner at 6:30 served in a kid friendly environment. No, instead we’re thinking about the free form, spontaneous adult-fest that we’ll be enjoying in the month to come. Maybe we’ll eat at 8:15. Perhaps we’ll have breakfast foods for dinner, or instead of dining at the table as a family, we’ll lounge on the couch in front of the TV while we enjoy light and healthy cuisine. Maybe we don’t even dine as a family. Perhaps she has an early salad, and I grill a late steak. Whatever the choice, we get to do whatever we want without having to provide structure and menu choices that an unsophisticated palate would consume without complaining. What the hell, maybe we’ll eat naked on the kitchen floor. We could you know. Probably won’t, but we could. Because anything goes, right?

Roasted Pork Tenderloin w/Mushroom & Shallot Demi Glace!

I’ve devised a full month menu of light and healthy dinners gleaned from recipes straight out of Cooking Light, Eating Well, and a host of other sources. They utilize a variety of grains, pastas, fish, chicken and even beef. Part of the key is the serving size. I thought some of the dishes didn’t sound particularly “lite” until I looked at the serving size. For beef, three ounces. That’s not much. The Goddess says she doesn’t want to eat at all. I’m going to cook anyway. My guess is that she’ll come around. I’ve identified great selections such as rosemary shrimp scampi skewers, curried chicken and rice soup, spicy kale & corn stuffed chicken breasts and grilled beef with green beans, tomato and chimichuri. Can’t wait to prepare them, and best of all, photograph them and impose them on you, the Dear Hungry Reader. Since I’m having grill issues, I made a pan seared and roasted pork tenderloin with mushroom and shallot sauce flavored with red wine and demi glace. It was served over quinoa studded with red bell pepper, mushroom, kale, onion, celery and shallot. Lovely. The key was serving it in three ounce portions. But even The Goddess agreed, it was great. Tender? Like buttah…..

Stay tuned for more updates from your new friend, AFitBanker!   -AFitB

Paging Mr. Johnson. Mr. Willie Johnson……

Abe Lincoln in a Chicken Nugget…..

Elvis in a French Fry……

Pareidolia is a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant, a form of apophenia. Common examples include seeing images of animals or faces in clouds, or the man in the moon. I know you’ve seen them. They’re spotted everywhere. All over the globe. What shocks me is that so many people give credibility to such nonsense. Please. You’re kidding me right? A potato chip that looks like Winston Churchill? The cat that looks like Hitler? Let’s also not forget Elvis in a French fry and Abe Lincoln in a chicken nugget. Jesus and The Virgin Mary are spotted in everything from rocks to jeans. There are, however, some sights that just evoke images, and they include the very first squash I ever harvested.

Glad to See Me?

Meatloaf and the Stones?

The Washington Monument and the Two Amigos?

Breakfast burrito & the twins?

Dangling participle & the love apples?

Call it what you will, that’s one unusual looking squash……..    -aff

More Burger Notes

I’m Getting Worried About The Oracle…..

A Real Mans Burger, and Good Too!

Went to Smashburger again last week, and once again, I thought it was a good burger. Nicely crisp and browned. Juicy and flavorful. Good basic toppings. But be still my heart, they’ve removed my favorite item form the menu. Smash no longer serves chili. I thought it was the best fast food chili in the business. It had a deep, defined chili flavor, and who

I Miss You Baby…..

could forget the jalapenos, cheese, onions and the layer of grease floating on the top – man, that’s good stuff! I had to have the fries instead. I know that the match stick style is considered to be the true French method. I know, but I don’t care. Match stick is my least favorite style of fry because as you know, I like my fries in the mode of Varsity and Five Guys – fresh cut, skin on and thick.

Nice Burger For DL, & Nice Hands Too!

I’m No Substitute for thr Chili!

What does this mean for my friends at Smashburger? Well, it means I won’t be seeing you again anytime soon. It’s the chili that kept me coming back, but for a straight up burger and fry I still prefer Burger Fi and Five Guys. I’m sure they have their reasons, but to Smashburger and their (authentic) French fries, I say au revoir!      -afb

 

 

 

 

 

FatFarmer Rules!

Yellow Squash Plant

I hate yard work. I hate mowing, blowing, trimming, raking, bagging and weeding. That’s why I don’t do any of those things; I pay someone else to do them for me. When our regular yard man quit five years ago, I decided that I’d take over all of those tasks myself. I figured I’d save money and get to enjoy working in my own yard. After all, it’s postage stamp size and relatively low maintenance. Epic Fail! I bought a mower, blower, weed-wacker and hedge trimmer, then set out to relax and enjoy my new hobby and toys. Unfortunately, I hated it. Lawn care is work, not fun. After doing my own lawn twice, I sold all of the equipment I purchased for half of what I paid, and found a new landscaper. We’re both happier that way. That all being said, I find it hard to understand why I so love gardening, the new hobby I took up last year.

Jungle Garden

Well, for one thing I get to take on a new persona, AFatFarmer. My first experience of gardening was last year and it was a good one, even though we had an odd, really wet summer. I grew flowers, herbs, hot peppers and tomatoes. My flower luck was spotty. Some grew and blossomed all summer, some withered and died on the vine. Petunias and zinnias are fickle, begonias are pretty stout. My herbs did well, excepting sage and dill, which I have eliminated this year. I ate my weight in basil, and by fall the basil plants had stalks the diameter quarters! Tomatoes were boom or bust – boom for the cherry varieties, and bust for the full size fruit. My pride and joy, however, were my hot peppers. Every variety grew like hell, and produced a ton of fruit all summer long. Even though it was very wet, almost every variety was hotter than nine yards of hell. I had hundreds of jalapenos and serranos, lots of mild green chilies, and a few of the red cherry chili peppers. I pickled them, ate them fresh and gave away a ton.

This year I’ve toned down. I’m emphasizing quality over quantity, and trying to keep the garden from getting too crowded. Imagine my surprise when the little tiny plants I put in the ground were four feet tall sixty days later! This year I left more room. And this year I’ve still created another jungle. But my plants are like children, and they’re my favorite children at that. They’re very quiet and they behave perfectly. Every day I tend my little plot, and every day I enjoy seeing the progress I’m making. Take a look at the photos and share my euphoria!   -aff