What A Disappointment!
Well, let’s just say I’m underwhelmed. This place sprang up all over town, I’ve heard good things, and I don’t find it that hard to imagine cooking great things with eggs. I had this vision of an egg based New Age Scarfeteria on the order of Chipotle, Zoe’s or Burger Fi, but in a full service breakfast niche. You know, a place that redefines whatever we thought of as egg cuisine with a hipster, hormone free, organic, free range sensibility. I’m thinking eggs at a whole new, hip level. I’m thinking this place is going to take concepts like IHOP, Waffle House and Denny’s to a whole new level of cool; a breakfast themed restaurant for a new generation possessing over the top expectations. As I’ve discussed before, that’s the trouble with expectations. New and over the top is not what I found at Another Broken Egg, 4075 Old Milton Pkwy, Alpharetta,
(770) 837-3440, http://www.anotherbrokenegg.com/.
Teller’s Omelet. It looked the best…….
What I did find was just another breakfast joint. At best. This place could be the restaurant at a Howard Johnson’s. It’s bland, blasé and boring. I’ve seen more imagination at a Cracker Barrel. One thing this place will never be is a Thumb’s Up with its giant heaps, hashes and massive omelets. Or even an Original Pancake House with its incredible apple pancake, overloaded omelets and $17 breakfasts. It’s just another place to go for a weekend breakfast and wait with the sheeple for food that you can make better at home. OK, DHR, enough talk about what it isn’t, let’s take a look at what it is.
Oracle’s Omelet. Blah….
We had a foursome today with your host, the Overstuffed Officer, The Oracle of Buckhead, Teller and El Presidente. The place was practically empty when we arrived, and as the hostess seated us she said something that struck me as just plain weird. “And this will be your menu”. Really? It will? Well, OK. Our server arrived before we had a chance to look at what would be our menus, greeted us professionally, took our drink order and asked the question that is now de rigueur at every eatery, that also makes no sense to me, “would you like to start with one of our fantastic appetizers like our famous baked brie?” How the hell could we possibly know what we want? We haven’t even looked at the menu yet. I’m sorry, but I don’t get it. This may be a good time for me to go off on a tangent, but it’s imminently more interesting than the food. I don’t like Another Broken Egg, but two things there impressed me. Our server was very professional and efficient, but that should be a given. In the real world it isn’t, so kudos to ABE, but what impressed me most was that she was extremely well trained. Her language was always very precise. “Will potatoes and English muffin be perfect?” “Is everything fantastic today?” Planting subliminal superlatives works, and it creates positive thoughts. Too bad the food is hopeless. The Oracle disagrees completely. He is put off by the artifice and intentional manipulation, and referred to it as a contrived performance; a phony, cheerful recitation of superlatives. Frankly, he has become such a curmudgeon that his list of dislikes grows daily. Well, at least the waitress wasn’t old. Old people really seem to bother The Oracle. It’s a good thing there are no mirrors in his house. The other thing I liked was the background music. I only actually recognized one song, but it was a deep cut by Robert Earl Keen. What’s up with that? (Get well soon, Keenan)
El Presidente’s Sandwich. Yawn…..
Now for the bad news, the food. You know my philosophy, DHR. If we go to a restaurant called “egg”, I have eggs on my first visit. I was tempted by the benedicts, but ended up trying the “supreme omelet”, $10.99! with onions, sausage, bacon, mushrooms and cheese. I chose their specialties, “seasoned country potatoes” and English muffin as sides. Everything was horrible. Oh, and it was served on a skillet shaped plate. Wow. The omelet was overcooked and I couldn’t actually taste a single ingredient. Waffle House is twice as good for half the price. The “seasoned country potatoes” were frozen cubes of institutional crap, and there was no seasoning as far as I could tell. Forget about it. The Folly of trying to Fool the Fat one with Faux potatoes. For shame! Even Chef Sysco would be ashamed. The English muffin was a joke. It was tiny, tasteless, and it was knife cut! The purpose on an English muffin is to be fork split and toasted so that the butter fills all the nooks and crannies. I can make much better food at home and so can anyone, so why does this place exist. Of course, considering the bad taste of the masses, it will probably become the most popular restaurant on the planet. The Oracle and Teller also had omelets and said they were fine. El Presidente had a turkey sandwich of some sort that he said was pretty good. At this point, I don’t care what everyone else thinks. As this is my blog, I am overruling them with the AFatBanker Veto. I will never eat at Another Broken Egg again, it sucks.
How does Another Broken Egg total out on the AFatBanker Balance Sheet? Not well.
ASSETS: Form over substance, fabulous service, the music.
LIABILITIES: Everything else.
Another Broken Egg, You Need This!
NET WORTH: This loser doesn’t rate a single money bag, but rather The Polished Turd Award for absolutely awful food. The most over hyped and under performing eatery we’ve visited in months. DL is lucky he missed it! -afb
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